Demon puppy owner dismantles my belief about bureaucrats

Why would you become a bureaucrat? Why would a Christian join an organization run by demons? I have a chat with one of these demonic individuals.

Demon puppy owner dismantles my belief about bureaucrats

There is this snowball fight in the movie Elf with Will Farrel, who plays the human raised by Christmas elves.

Some thugs in New York Central Park ambush Buddy and his stepbrother with snowballs.

Cornered, Buddy packs a hundred snowballs within seconds.

Buddy loads himself with an impossible amount of ammo.

Then he quick-arm machine guns the thugs with no mercy.

Here watch:

Last year, I played the role of those thugs.

Here's the breakdown:

  • The thugs = me
  • Buddy = German IRS (Finanzamt) with machine-gun tactic
  • The snowballs = nasty letters in brown recycled-paper envelopes

Here is how it played out.

Demonic ambush

The demonic club, the German IRS, is an open-plan office full of demons.

Daily they rejoice over their latest plunder.

At the water cooler, they laugh about the misery of the latest failed entrepreneur.

In the break room, they snicker over black coffee about the poor widow who collapses under tax consultant fees.

Once a week, their office is filled with cake and streamers, while they gorge themselves with cake all day, while the impoverished family desperately waits for a tax refund.

Demonic scum of the earth.

And last year, they painted a red bulls-eye on my back.

The salivating demons brought out their Gatlin gun loaded with letters
and murdered my mailbox.

Then they seized my bank accounts for 3 weeks, both business and private.

My business was struggling before this, and this sunk the last nail in the coffin.

My crime?

I made a mistake on a tax form.

They thought I still owed them 10K, which I had already paid.

It was an honest mistake, they will understand.

But the demonic frenzy had already begun.

Extra greedy in my case, because I have no tax consultant.

Fresh meat.

My business is gone within a few months.

Another victory for Side-Satan.

But wait. There's more!

Christmas approached.

I thought it was all over.

But just like that last boy who thought he could escape Buddy's long-range skills,
the German IRS threw a hail mary bomb:

a 2018 tax audit due at the beginning of January


Direct hit.

That's me on my face in the snow.

The silver puppy and Satan's puppet

It's April a few months later.

I'm on a walk with Auggie, and we turn the corner on our usual route.

A cute silver 6-month-old labrador pounces toward Auggie (almost 3).

Augie is a sucker for puppies.

He lets the puppy tackle him.

Cuteness everywhere.

The lady owner followed: professionally clad, perfect posture, friendly.

"You going this way?" I ask.

Playing is the best way to wear out a dog.

They join us.

The dogs frolic through the frosty grass.

While walking on the path through the farmer's meadow, she asks me a question:

"What would you say is the main difference between living in Germany and the US?"

Seems like a normal question.

But normally dog owners just talk about their dogs.

Rarely curious about humans.

Typically, I ask all the questions.

They usually ask none.

"Well, the difference between Germany and the US for me has changed over the years. But recently I have had a tough time with the German IRS. This led to me closing my business."

"Oh! I and my husband work for the German IRS," she says with a hint of pride.

When someone tells me they are a bureaucrat, I immediately want out of the conversation.

To me they are saying, "I have sold my soul to the devil, so that I can have a cushy job with nice income and benefits."

But without skipping a beat, I don't look for the nearest exit.

Strangely, I became curious about her opinion of my scenario with the German IRS last year.

What is wrong with me?

Get away before her eyes turn red and her voice goes demon mode.

It's too late.

The power of her warm curious question had a lock on me.

Her cute silver puppy didn't help either.

I tell her my story.

She listens.

No fear-mongering.

No green poison squirting out of the back of her throat.

Empathetic. Inquisitive.

Like a psychologist.

"I am sorry to hear that," she kindly replies, "The German IRS is partially governed by technology. It flags suspicious activity and we have to investigate it."

In other words, "We are just doing our jobs."

This I knew to some extent.

Many of the letters ended with "P.S. This letter was written by a machine."

Yep, they really say "machine." (Pause: imagine apocalyptic dystopia.)

She attempts to justify herself, "But fairness is a top priority. If the findings are different than what was declared that year, we are quick to refund, too."

By the end of the walk, I conclude this woman is not a demon.

"Puppet of a demon" is too strong.

"Unknowing victim of a demonic machine"?

That could work.

I think this a God nudge:

  • to be more compassionate towards bureaucrats.
  • to question my belief that the German IRS is a satanic temple

But, I still have a question:

How do nice, well-intentioned people join something so obviously demonic?

I'll take a shot at this question:

It is not obvious to them.


1) "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

Imagine a mafia that is so rich and powerful it can print money for themselves and force everyone to use it.

How hard would it be to veil their employees from the lies?

As of 2023, 5 million of the available 50 million workers in Germany work for the state.

That's 1 out of every 10.

Sure, some of them are criminals at heart, but not the majority.

I know a Christan who left his own tax consulting business to work for the German IRS.

(Spit on the ground.)

Why did he do it?

I asked him.

  • steady income (compared to his rollercoaster business)
  • friendly team atmosphere (rather than his lonely home office)
  • lots of paid vacation
  • great benefits

Provide these conditions, you can deceive even God's chosen.

I took a picture of the German IRS's advertisement in early 2023.

Looks fun, right?

2) They believe they are doing something good

Come work for us and you will

  • help the unemployed/poor.
  • help the elderly.
  • help the sick.

Join our loving team as we plunder 50% of all earned income for the greater good.

Do these ends justify the means?

Not in God's kingdom.

In the New Covenant, giving is no longer compulsory (2 Cor. 9:7).

But I know Christians who actually believe that paying taxes is like tithing.

"It's what makes Germany one of the best places in the world to live."

So, they pay 50% of their income with a cheerful heart...
...or else they go to jail.

I don't want to get into whether taxes really help the helpless.

That's not my point.

My point is that bureaucrats, and even IRS workers, can be easily convinced they are serving society.

Even if does so using threat and force.

Mercy for the Minions

After the walk with the German IRS puppy owner, I feel a little more compassion for those workers.

Outside of the public sector, finding a good and stable job is tough.

The demonic forces behind the machine are good at masquerading as angels of light (2 Cor. 11:14)

As a matter of fact, Jesus explains that Satan's slave utopias will grow along side God's kingdom till the end of this age (Mt. 13:30, 38-39)

So, until then, I would love to hear what you think.