Vocal sermonitis is a speaking disease by which a normal speaking voice turns into a fuller, more emphatic style indicating listeners are to submit because this is a one-way thing going on here.
Brief example:
Years ago, Sylvia and I were invited to join the pastor’s home group at his actual home. Golly, were we excited. Wrestling with the Bible among others with theological degrees is such meaty fun. He even had worksheets ready. But you can guess what happened: The pastor’s voice shifted to his sing-song sermonizing style for his 30-minute Sermon on the Couch.
Did he ever notice the glazed eyes of all the guests?
Sermons don’t belong in home groups, just like they don’t belong in emails.
How to know if vocal sermonitis has infected your emails:
#1 Your demeaning subject line is a Bible verse.
Doing this implies your readers are familiar with the content of that verse. But for most this is a subtle dig at their lack of Bible knowledge, making you the Bible guru.
#2 You always start your email with a cliché sermon intro
a question “Have you ever wondered why...?”
an anecdote “This week I was at the grocery store...”
an analogy “Did you know that butterflies are born as adults?”
These are not always bad starters, it’s just I know it’s the writer’s trigger for vocal sermonitis.
#3 You make 3 points in every bless-ed email
I am pretty sure a large contributing factor to me falling asleep during Sunday sermonizing is because of this predictable structure.
#4 You tie a bow on your email with an application
Because I now need to change my life, I will not click your link. Why should I? You gave me the exact step I need to take in the email. There is no loop for me to close anymore. This is also why your subscribers have no reason to buy your book.
#5 You ask a fake courtesy engagement question
These are the kinds of questions that, if taken seriously, would be exhausting to write. Such as:
“Did your parents ever put a bar of soap in your mouth? Hit reply and let me know all about it.”
To give you context on what I do: I have a catalogue of 26 email types that I work with, so that my subscribers are always getting variety. None of them include a sermon.
Want some help with your emails?
For the first 3 subscribers who respond, I will have a look at an email you send to your subscribers and give you some feedback.
Blair